SOS: helping kitties deal with Mum’s pregnancy, babies and/or kids

Remember Booties and Timmi? This is an appeal for help – advice and suggestions needed from anyone who has gone through a situation where a pet cat starts behaving badly after the stork deposits da package. Please reply or write to us at sephycat at gmail dot com.

The two dames have a 3-month old human addition to the home now.

Booties is handling the change well.

But Timmi, unfortunately, isn’t.

In the words of their mum, PC:

I’m having difficulty managing Timmi lately and I was wondering if I could get your advice.

We recently had a baby daughter, she’s now 3 months old. Both T & I barely spent time with them in the 1st one and half months .

The cats have been more needy and I think the baby’s crying drives them berserk, well it nearly drove us to tears!!

We expected that the cats will be confused and more needy with the baby and changes in the routine at home- they used to be able to go into our spare bedroom (now the baby’s room) but they can’t now. So we let them go into the study when they previously couldn’t. They are not allowed in our master bedroom at all.

Timmi is driving me insane with her needy behaviour, she was stalking me everywhere I go and even when I’m on the couch breastfeeding my baby. I try to give some attention to both the cats in the mornings when the baby’s asleep. Timmi has now resorted to negative behaviour to get our attention, she blatantly goes into the master bedroom even when she knows that I can see her doing it! She didn’t show much interest in our room before the baby came along, I used to leave the door open the entire day and she wouldnt bother to go in, now she’s doing it almost everyday. She knows that she will get punished( I scuff her, hiss and beat her butt) for it but she does it anyway. T thinks she’s doing it to get attention even if it is negative – so I ignore her and let her bad behaviour slide.. I really don’t want to punish her everyday, its unhealthy for both of us but her behaviour has gone from bad to worse. The thing is, we really can’t give her as much attention as we used to, T has since change jobs, he works longer hours and his job requires him to travel a fair bit as well. I’ve quit my job to become a stay at home mom. I have to manage the baby, household chores and cats alone most of the time.

Booties is doing okay but unfortunately she cant sit on my lap for the time being, can’t hve fur on me when I carry the baby.

We had a chat about the situation. It’s not the absolute pits yet, but PC would dearly love to get further away from those. She is nearly the end of her tether about coping with Timmi. While her sister has offered to take Timmi, PC considers it the very last resort and hopes very much to keep the family intact.

I did a search online; there’s quite some references about preparing kitties for the arrival of a new baby, but I was not able to find anything about managing the situation if a situation develops after the baby arrives.

Help, anyone?

What’s bothering you, Timmi?


4 responses to “SOS: helping kitties deal with Mum’s pregnancy, babies and/or kids

  1. Timmi is feeling insecure and he should not be punished just because he is going to the master bedroom as he is aware he is now not allowed to go to ‘her’ previous room. Scruffing, hissing and beating her has to stop; it’s not as if she is doing major damage to the family, just entering the bedroom for God sake.

    From my experience with Jinpa after the arrival of the paralysed kitten(Beauty), he has been fighting, urine spraying, attacking Beauty, following me, just being very sticky. The more i caned him for always getting into fight, the more obstinate he is so now i reverse the whole stiuation; when i wake up, i called his name first, sayang him a little, before i leave the house, i informed him 1st with a kiss on his cheek, and when i returned home, i called out to him 1st. And it work, he became more ‘tame’ and obliging. And when he gets into scuffle with Beauty, a stern NO and he is off.

    i like to believe in this case, Timmi is sensitive not only with his surroundings but to the tone, behaviour and action of his mummy. And i like to think he is just as stressed as his mummy; so i really hope mummy analyse if her stress are partly the cause for Timmi to be stressed, thus the change in Timmi’s behaviour.

    May be visits can be made at your end to comfort Timmi and Booties and i would suggest providing cat houses around the house for the 2 cats.

  2. Timmi is a female right? Sorry some error up there 🙂

  3. And we know don’t we, the more you ignore the cat, the more the cat will one to be near you – they feel secure. Poor Timmi

  4. Hi MaryDrolma,
    Thank you. First, different people have different boundaries and limits. For PC and her husband, the master bedroom is one of them. That’s their prerogative. I expected some criticism on this aspect, but chose to put up the situation in its entirety to facilitate the discussion.

    Anyway… Personally, I believe having a new kitty in the home is rather different from getting a new human. imo, the cats know this too. It’s just that like humans, different cats deal with the same situation differently. But thanks for sharing your thoughts, I will pass on your comments to PC.